这世界很善变。。。。

很想问一句。。。是我变了？？。。。还是你变了？？

不知何时 开始。。。

我觉得 好像好多东西都变了。。。

不只是 样貌，环境， 年龄 等等。。。。

其实 好多事情都变了。。。。

改变给我有一个 浮渣的感觉。。。

这一个改变 我不只是好还是坏。。。。

我也不能说些什么。。。

因为大家都有 大家想要的方向走。。。

没什么好指责的。。。

这一个改变，有一种要我转身 就走的感觉。。。

因为 我是一个喜欢过 平凡中的不平凡生活的人。。。。

就不要太复炸就好。。。

相信 大家都好奇。。。

为什么我会就读 法律系。。。

哈哈哈。。。。我自己也觉得很好笑。。。

老实说  我本来很想就读 ICOM 。。。。

我想就读音乐系 和 sound engeneering ....

可是却极力地被反对。。。。

那是我小时候的梦想。。。。

因为 长大了。。。

总觉得 是时候 为我身边的人想一想。。。。

因为我妈妈 所以 我就 读了法律。。。

我是一个 不爱读书的人。。。

可是考试到的时候。。。难免会有些小聪明来面对。。。

到我上了 College 候。。。

我发现 我那一些小聪明。。。

是没用的！！！

应为还是要读!!!!

如果 不是为了我妈妈 为我的付出。。。

我是没可能 撑到今天。。。

我也 不会读法律系。。。

因为 我会有更好的机会。。。

如果 我去就读 媒体传播。。。

我不喜欢 paper考试。。。

不喜欢。。。

应为 它往往会 让我觉得我很笨 很蠢 白痴。。。。

我看到我今天考卷得分 让我 非常非常 心痛。。。

快要崩溃了。。。

我真的是不那么笨吗？？

e-mail

有时候心情很矛盾。。。不知道要怎样才好。。。

时好时坏。。。一时高兴 一时沮丧。。。
今天我打开我电邮箱里面。。。想要删除不需要的讯息。。。
一打开就吓了一跳。。。叹了一声气。。。
好多要去看和删除。。。。。怎一千个。。。嗨！
陆陆续续删了几百个。。。
然后 我不小心的打开了一封电邮。。。。
如果 不是意外地打开。。。我想我是不会想要去读那封电邮的。。。
既然一打开。。。我就读了他。。。。


这个人是在上一年里 伤我最深最深的人。。。。
我把 他 在我的 电邮msn 还有 facebook 统统都给他删除了。。。
因为当初不想留下 任何痕迹。。。
破碎的玻璃都把它拼起来.。。。。
渐渐的时间都快一年了在七月份。。。
我也对自己当初 狠狠的也对着无名氏狠狠的。。。。
没联络。。。没说话。。。什么都没。。。
因为我很讨厌他。。。
如果站在我的立场的你。。。
当时 你会狠狠的送他一巴掌。。。。
可是我没那样做。。。


也许是因为当初我也无能为力了。。。
从小到大的我。。。都很固执 很倔强 很任性。。。
大家以为我是开心果。。。在家 老实说我不是。。。。
我不成在大众面前流过泪。。。。
因为 小时候我想保护我的妈妈。。。。。
我不成像其他 同学一样。。。。 可以在大家面前释放出来。。。
我不能。。。 我很羡慕他们。。。。
当我伤心 我只想拼命的吞。。。。把自己想要流的泪都吞了。。。。
我知道 我一定会有忍不住的那天 无法关起门的大声哭。。。
但如果在你面前发生。。。。 就让我把泪水流干吧。。。


在我觉得宽饶时。。。
看到他那一封电邮。。。。我也不知道要怎样回应。。。
又叹了一口气。。。。嗨！！
心情还是复炸。。。。
感动？开心？无聊？不爽？。。。
我不知道。。。。。
他既然向我道谢和道歉。。。。
我因该学会宽恕。。。可是他给我的恶梦。。。
抹不掉。。就像一根刺在心里。。。。
一句抱歉 你将在嘴边那么久。。。
还值得我去原谅吗？？？
我当时的付出 你如今的体会。。。
值得我去 忘记你给我的恶梦吗？？
我可以接受 你的道谢。。。
但你的抱歉。。。我如今还是无能为力。。。。


你给的美好回忆 并不多。。。。
可是你留下的污点 却很多。。。
我还是能记得他。。。。
我记得 当初我撑的很辛苦。。。。


我很感谢在那段时间朋友给我的鼓励。。。。
我拿了不少时间才。。。
站好。。。。。
来当作没事情。。。


我要感谢 那些 一向来让我的 好哥儿们。。。
你们让我方式。。。 无理取闹。。。还有发泄。。。

谢谢。。。。

想起你们好像让我欺负了 ！！ 哈哈。。。
可是你们都很好。。。
还要谢谢你们对我的维护和保护。。。
我知道我不温柔也不体贴 ！！哈哈哈。。。。
还有些暴力形象。。。
可是 你们还会那么的照顾我。。。。
你们很讲义气。。。“Flower 姐”
哈哈。。。还有 裕隆，杰贤，等等。。。。


姐妹们当然也少不了。。。怎十多年的朋友
Yuli， 欣媚，寒诗，淑惠，美美 等等。。。。。。
也要谢谢依婷 帮我出气。。。虽然他听不到可是 哈哈哈。。。
我了解。。。
还有丽仪。。。还有等等。。。。
就算我没告诉你们，我发生什么事。。。你们都那么的挺我。。。



回到电邮。。。我还是会再看在考虑！！！
理智一些。。不想再跌进黑洞里。。。
我已恨过。。。所以不想再逼自己了！！！
答应自己没下一次。。。

no where but beach

SERIOUSLY, I NEED TO ISOLATE MYSELF !!!!

i seriously i think i need to isolate myself ......
i am behaving as i am hiding in a shell ....
i am afraid to step out off my shell....
should i name this shell "The Shell of Recovering" or "The Shell of Not Facing Reality"
i wanted to face the reality ...
but am i strong enough todo so...
i am preparing myself all this week.....
PREPARING.....
both mentally and physically ....
TO FACE EVERYTHING !!!!!
but do anyone know the feeling of pain of it.....
its like thousand needles to it........
i was actually touching my heart .....
almost everyday asking ...."are you alright?"
and i tell her that "you will be fine soon ...soon"
its not the time for me to talk about this ....
but then..... its bothering me........
i am comforting myself every single minutes and seconds.....
anyway ..i am just trying to react with a smile.....
DON'T ask why....
because its the best solution after all.......
THE BEST !!!!!!!

 further i have the idea to close down this blog....
or other word to make my blog more private and confidential just for me....
after all this blog i have treat it as my diary and place to release my emtions...
 if i were to open new blog ....
i would not post any single things about ME !!
i wanted it to be " Fashion.Food.Taste"

still considering anyway ......

i actually feels to go to the beach now .....
i hope the breeze there is cooling ..... COOLING !!!
i wanted to sit there alone ......ALONE !!!!
and do whatever i want ....WANT !!!!
if i were to choose ... i don't want to be in this position ...DON'T !!!!!
trying to draw back every single thing which is unnecessary ...DRAW !!!!
but i am struggling ...STRUGGLING!!!!!

BEACH I THINK I NEED YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

当我成功停下脚步。。。我很高兴。。当我决定停下来时。。

想往另一个道路时。。。你又来踩我。。。

如果能问你的话。。。我想问你到底是要怎样？？？？！！！！！

我已经对自己狠狠了。。。不要再逼我！！！！！！

我已经 尽量 留一条美丽的后路 了。。。

请不要破坏！！！

another post...hehehhee...just do not want to combined with happy stuff....

now the emotional one................

this morning ( sunday)....

i just woke up from a nightmare ...i almost overslept......

and my brother woke me up from it..............

need less for me to tell my nightmare ....

its something that i don't even thought of dreaming it............

but nevertheless it looks real and its something may happen in my reality life....

hence i think this reminds me to get myself ready to face it....

calmly.....and rationally .............anyway i get to wake up ....

and i have a feeling that i dont wish to wake up at all.....

as i wake up .....i had to start thinking about this and that and hearing inputs...........

making me feeling bad .........and anger ..............

anyway i still able to swallow maybe coz i have large appetite or a good digestive system...

it will come to a day that i will lose control... but i can't do anything .......

anyway gotta wake up early because have to do some registration stuff ....

and thanks Jocelyn for a such nice massage ...^^

feel a little more comfortable then .....

i hope i could keep on track to my determinations............... i hope i could ....

Saturday

Yesterday was Saturday....
going to college like usual..... but no doubt a litttle happier = )
maybe its due to a rest at home makes the day and i am able to solve half of the one problem...
and be able to put something and matter down .....
feeling alittle relax though ...hahaha

class is like usual but today jake and junior look sleepy ....
and their face is like burger ...hahaha me too la actually XD

returning Mel"s tupperware ...hahaha
thank you Mel for the nice spaghetti you have made ^^

then in the afternoon like what is planned we went for lunch ...
to celebrate Marcus's birthday ....
i don't know the place seriously ......and if i am lost muahahaha...
i am lost ahhahaha....
but okay la we actually spent some precious time together chit-chatting ....
and me and jessica another "TUNG" ...hahhaa
is a little crazy .... ; )
perhaps we are the Siamese twin hehehe ...

then after the lunch we actually separated ....
some of them went The Curve....
Me, Jessica,Junior & Jake planned to go home.....
all the" Js"...............

Me and Jessica were in Junior's car ..........
we actually planned to go home ...but then it was too early ....
cuz its only 3.30pm......
so we randomly decided to go Time Square .......
hahaaha............
but the jam was terrible .....
we actually reach the mall about 4 something ................
sad....... then junior went and watch his stuff ...
whereas me and jessica the 2 shopaholic .....
hahahaha...you know la.......
SHOP Shop Shop!!!!!
and we are half an hour late to meet up Junior hahhahaa.....
sorry yea Junior ...hahhaa.....
but actually its not enough time if we really want to shop ......
hahaahha.....girls nature ; )

then time to go home.....
its funeral time......
thats why i wore white .............
and then before the sky get to dark i found some lilies and have some shots of it ....
and for sure another problem arrive again before one of it goes off .....
i will just stay strong and calm ........................................

Leighton Lemon v Kennington Kiwi

jess & me

桐 和 彤

jessica said she looks pretty  =)

nice ??? : P

Jessica。 Marcus。Me 。

Grilled Lamb Chop v Sirloin Beef Steak

The Evening Sky

Lilies^^

INTRODUCING my niece ^^ people said she looks like me : D

Busy Drizzling morning and Lovely rainbow = )

i chat with a few friends yesterday and i was really pleased and happy to chat with them...

beside and i am still here.....

i was almost rob on wednesday evening ....but lucky i realise that a motorbike coming near me .........

i started to walk faster then i ran quickly into a gate........

that was close...very close indeed....

the 2 guys stop at the shop beside waiting me to come out from the gate......

but then i was lucky too...suddenly a few number of car came to that shop and they realise i wont be going out from the gate....................

they went on their motorbike....and show me some foul sign then ...they went off with a salute to me....

what the hell that kind off people was..... i hope they couldn't find a victim.........

seriously i am not in mood and i am trying to repair it ....

but then i hope it does not worsen.....

the best thing is to speak to friends.............

anyway Phik kee ask me to publish a book ....and she said i could publish a book already.........

i actually laugh.... but then thinking...

what titled of book should i published???

hahaaha...pehaps writing song is better la....haha

yesterday morning , its drizzling but i am overwhelmed that i saw a reflection of rainbow at a black car...

i turned and have a look and saw a gigantic nice rainbow...........

i haven seen rainbow for long time..............

but then something came to my mind............

i am figuring out the way to paint a rainbow at dark during night ..........

izzit possible??

hmmm.....................its a problem solving day today and i am not feeling well....

but t last i take out half out of one problem.....

anyway i think i frightened elaine yesterday hahaha....

and for other reason as u know i would like apologogise here tooo ...again...

really sorry.......

i am actually trying to make some decisions by flipping coins but then ........

useless.....cuz i always know the way to get the answer i want with those coins.....

i think i am a little okay and now i am gotta get ready myself to face something that i do not want to face but its still there .......

and i have to face and hope its worst out of the worst........

so that i could stand the hard impulse force........

back to chatting with friends ...still ivan ..i do not how to use nuffnangs.....

haiz.............

P.kee ...i hope u will stay strong too.....don't give up yourself....i will consider in publishing a book if i could or i have the time too... hahaha ...or probably i will just create another new blog just blog it la....hehehe

 everyone is still learning ..don't worry.....

All the best my FRIENDS & all the best to me too^^

女孩的故事

以下是一个女孩的故事。。。。

这女孩名不方便透露。。。

女孩最近很伤心的来对我哭诉。。。。

她说她又回到历史了。。。。

我问为什么他那样说？？

她就把故事告诉我。。。。

女孩说本来一开始她很清楚她在拍着自己的手掌。。。

她也很明白。。。这是不能说的秘密。。。

自想把它常在心里就好。。。

因为一旦说出口，她害怕 她不想要发生的事会发生。。。。

她也知道 这一个张声是拍不响的。。。

可是 后来不久。。。。

他发觉 他不再是一个人拍掌了。。。

有一个小小隐形的力量 轻轻的开始一起拍。。。。

当然他那时候 也很矛盾。。。。

不知道是真是假。。。。认为也许是他想太多。。。

可是一感觉到 那个掌声时候。。。

他不得不去想。。。

  一切都很暧昧。。。。

让她无法自拔。。。。

这些日子很快就过。。。

因为他发现 这个隐形的手 抽得很快。。。。

他感觉到的。。。。

她感觉到失望和失落。。。

他知道背后原因。。。。

她感觉到伤心难过。。。。

就像碎过的水晶球 一碎在碎。。。。。

她答应自己要忍耐。。。。

忍耐并不是 想要出什么招数。。。

忍耐是因为 他要保留着一些 事物。。。

忍耐是因为 不要让人看到她 的脆弱。。

她想要做一位在人生最厉害的舞台者。。。

可是永远心里面的感受 和表情出卖了她。。。。。

她不应该 再纠缠下去。。。。

就算她有能力 。。。。

她也想松手。。。因为往往 东西不属于你的就不是。。。。

不是往往一个抱歉就能 把有些伤口复原。。。

只能用心痛 来形容。。。

幸好还来得及。。。

幸好还没走得太深。。。

幸好只有一些些的尴尬。。。。

但是女孩说。。。“你的瞬间不告而别，真的是心痛。。。。。”

days

Lets talk about yesterday first…

It was Tuesday ….

It didn’t start off well again ……
I am having a tough week ….and it may continue perhaps….
Class was as usual and I decided to stay till 6.30p.m ………
Alone in college without people is boring but it was nice …
I suppose because its cloudiness that I love ……..
I ask ridiculous questions and hence I am thankful that most are answered …….
And I enjoy doing something where I think its worth todo for a friend…
Its nice and enjoyable though …
But I am still not in mood …its not that I am emo ….
I am not …I wished I could get out from here ….
I know I am belong here …..
I have my own wonderland ……..
My own fantasy ………………………
The sudden lost of this feeling make me depressed…..
I am thankful for those hands and ears thay you all borrow me…
Especially elaine ,always “moon bathing with me “ during daylight !!!
And also jol …………………….


I observed something in the train …where I realise a person can feel emo to a such great extent …
Besides he look so gay …hahhaha
He actually walk a catwalk to the behind part of train and then twist ….
As if there are winds blowing …..
There are seats available but he didn’t take the seat but seat on the floor of the train ….
EMO-ing + Posting…..
I wanted to secretly take a photo … but then hahaha there are people looking…
So too bad I cant share here hehehehe ^^
And then I went home …. And blah ………



WEDNESDAY ….

The day start by a morning call by Joo Long at 4.30 a.m …
Hahaha …anyway thx yea but I tertidur leh …hehhehe….


I think I could be the best performer of all……
I am not happy but I have to smile still ……
I feel something terrible happening….. its true ….
I can feel it ……..and hence today is stronger……..
[taking deep breathe]
I cant tell anyone perhaps………
I don’t know what todo……………
None ….NOTHING !!!!!!!!!!!
And kim said I look not nice from facial expressions……
Nah it couldn’t be that obvious right ……………….
I wanted to ………………………………..
And then I think twice and I take a deep breathe and said ….
only I can help myself out now …..
NO ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
But then I have to keep swallowing all and every single of it till the extent where I cant ….
Then I will fall………………..
{gulp}
Perhaps its my fault ………………. I could blame
I had to prepare myself to face it ….
Every single possiblities that would make me fall and hit HARD and PAINFULL!!
I told my dearest friend elaine……
Give me a week time ….. A WEEK …………..
Perhaps …or it will take longer....
Sorry if in that week I am loss …
Sorry if that week I misbehaved….
Sorry if I did something WRONG and ridiculous….
Sorry people……
I seriously need to cope up with myself perhaps…making me more stronger….
I saw some cracks and I don’t want to see it break …………
….
I should be little happy that Quinnie actually said she seldon see me in fb ….
Hahaha good news perhaps …and exam is coming ….
And I was staying in college till six with Gary and Debbie ….
Hmmmmm it’s a bit relaxing cuz its another cloudy day ……..



i wanted to spill out some of my feelings here but .... its too public ...

洞

当火车里没什么人的时候。。。。

你会舒舒服服地坐这看着窗外的风景。。。。

有香蕉树，绿色和长长的草，小田，河 等等。。。。

望着窗外 似乎想起了很多事情。。。。

让我考虑了许多我自己的问题。。。。

只到 我问会我自己。。。

为什么我怕黑暗？？

我父母都认为我怕鬼。。。。 嗨。。。。

我本来也以为这样。。。

在深深的考虑后。。才发现

我怕的 I Am AFRAID。。。。

其实是 孤独 和 孤单。。。

我一向以为我可以一个人走。。。

可是这并不是那样。。。

我可以 一个人 去看戏 去唱歌 去血拼。。

可是我最近都觉得自己很空。。。。

就像贝壳 那样 只有壳。。。。

我觉得 自己很闷。。。

觉得自己 太多缺点 数额数不清。。。

还有一大堆问题。。。。

该想和不该想都 统统来向我 报道。。。。

自己一直在寻觅着出口。。。。

不知道在踏入 某些问题的圈是 对或错？？？

是我自己在拍我自己的手心呢？？

还是 还有其他人？？？

我不闻不问。。。

知道结局也并不是好的事。。。。

保持距离也许会好些。。。

可是就当你成经失去。。。

你会又怎样？？？

= （

Its already saturday and my day actually doesn't start well ...
and i have to wake up early in the saturday morning for tort....
The first thing i woke up was i feel i am sleepy and miss my bed alot ....
This is my first time ....haiz
i was awake till morning to wait for an e-mail that never reach me that night...
but i couldn't stand after 3 in the morning and decided to sleep...
and i sleep for two hour plus and wake up to get ready........
the train was cold this morning ...
luckily i brought a scarf ....
the train was slow .... and i reach college a little late ...
and get a bottle of apple juice and aloe vera  as well as an egg sandwich for breakfast......
and a random old man talked to me.....

then as usual i met elaine at 3rd floor...
nothing special just some lame joke between us and also crap la.....

then came to celebrating Thomas's birthday........
we went to wong kok at one utama ....
everyone gathered there as well as Winnie leh.....
it has been so long i didn't see her...kinda happy ^^
i took Junior's car to one utama....
and the jam was bad ....
anyway its okay la...haha
he is a nice and cute person to speak to too =)

we did some random stuff at the restaurant...
as usual la take video and photograph....
but this is more special as some of them came back and appear on screen again !!!!
hahhaha........

all things went smooth ...
the sky Love me so much and rain after i get the train and stop when i reach the station near my house...
i didnt sleep in trin the whole journey as there are things playing in my mind ,,,,,
i couldn't figure out but i am afraid ~ ~ ~ ~ unreasonably

today was really a drama day i should call .....
some of the things i cant mention here ........ so sorry

i am sad and restless and excited as well..........
anyway i hope to get a solution to this question....
and now i am like ordering "teh limau ice tak nak ice "
haiz.................

Haiz~~~

What happen to me ?

I felt I want all dessert put right infront of me ….
With nice decorations and designs on it………….

I want Tiramisu, I want Banana Split, Cheese cake, Green Tea red bean cake, Mango pudding, Strawberry Pudding, Green Tea ice cream, smooth ice, Ice cream Spaghetti, Australian Apple struddle, Tong Shui, Fruit tart, and many many more………..


Feeling desperate and terribly distress right now…
I don’t know whats happening with me ………
Apparently my heart beat is a bit faster than usual ……….
My thought is more messed up….
and many things are running in my mind...
If  I speak weirdly do forgive me ..........
And I actually sighed “ Haiz~~~” for more than 30 times a day…
And today is the worst of all…………….haiz……….
And I wonder how we or maybe just Elaine perhaps create a joke out of that ……….
Yayaya Lame I know…………XD hahhaa
She is so random ….. when we were studying she suddenly stopped and stare at me …….
Then she said about that sigh-ing thing“haiz” …then randomly she sang ………..
I ask her not todo that because it took me quite long to stop and focus reading….
When she finish her singing ………..not realising I sighed “ HAIIIZZZ~~~~~ “ AGAIN !!!!!
She was laughing like mad and non-stop that’s what I could say ………..
Then I realise I SIGH again =(
I laugh along too because it was kinda funny XD
Then we talk about some random stuff with Kim, See Wei and Jake..
Then came to Tort’s break…..
You will never know how lame when we speak to Kin Sin ….
Really funny I can laugh like mad …..
Reason he is as lame as us lo …the (Three-Eight Girls) hahahha….
And not forget to disturb Jessica too ….
She is really cute ………… TUNG TUNG if you read this …hahaha
Just chill la don’t be excited ^^
I still think you are secretly in love with ME lol …. : P
Hahahaha…………………..
Although I am emo but things are still happening around me …
Which is great …………..such as my friends XD
but haiz ……… I am so innocent!!!
And nearly get blamed by a irresponsible person ………..
WTH ……………if I get scolded I am sure …he will see my Justice Bao’s face…
But since I didn’t……….wonder what kind off people is that….
Haiz ~~ forget about it then … never gonna approach this type of people again …..
Complicated people…… I have more things to deal with…..
Tomorrow will be a better day =)

reflections

Another crapping and emo post I would say……….

Life should not be that bored for me but its useless when I feel I am boring myself ….
Speaking on what I had went through its like hell ……..
I can’t speak it out loud and I can’t avoid ….
All I can is to face it and take it……
Was it the world is too complicated ?

OR

Was it I am too naïve to think the world is simple?
I never get the answer myself…NEVER !!!!
There is nothing I can do other than to wait …
And wait AND WAIT !!!
But do you know my “CENTRAL BANK of PATIENCE” will soon bankrupt???


World and life is like a jigsaw puzzle….
You gotta keep every single piece of it to get a picture….
Then people claimed that a picture has a thousands of word….
Yea indeed so were human being and the scenario we have seen ……….


There will be daylight and there will be darkness…
Which would you like ??
I always claimed I like cloudiness and wind …
Simplicity is always what I preferred…..

当你朋友来告诉。她/他要跟世界告别。。。

当你朋友来告诉。她/他要跟世界告别。。。

你们有试过，你们的朋友来对你说 他想放弃人生和世界地球说拜拜吗？
你们会有什么感想呢？？
你们会安慰她， 鼓励，辅导，痛骂 还是就让他去死 认为他是开玩笑的？？
当他们这一类的人 来跟你哭诉时 你会对他们有什么想法？？？

我内心觉得很寒冷。。。
因为在我人生短短19年已有几位朋友对我说他们要放弃自己。。。
当我第一次听到时候。。。我不知道 如何面对这一类的人。。。
因为往往选择这一条路的人他们一觉得他们无路可走了。。。。
我如果知道 我这一些朋友 真的 自杀。。。我会很愧疚。。。
很伤心。。。我会很不舍得他们。。。。。为他们而掉眼泪

你们不要以为 要自杀 的人 会闷闷不乐让你看到。。。。
他自己的真面目。。。。
反而， 他会把自己的心情收藏起来。。。

其实他们内心里 不好过。。。
在他们心里 有千千万万打不开的结。。。
他们的心情是非一般人不会了解的痛苦。。。。

他们也会把他们的事情看得最严重。。。
其实有时候并没那么严重。。。
只是他们打不开新里面的结。。。。

这一些体会是无法用言语和字体来形容的。。。
自杀只是一刹那的勇气·。。。
因为有些人怕死。。。所以他们都会 放弃这一个念头。。。
怕死未必是一件坏事啊！！！

幸好，到如今那些跟我说要自杀的朋友们还在。。。
活得好好，一根头发也没少。。。。
反而变美了 也胖了 一些。。。。

其实我们要对人生有期待。。。
期待是我们对我们自己的一种 期望 盼望。。。
我们不应该那么自私。。。。
你们要知道。。。要成为人是需要千百年的轮回。。。
要舍弃 自己 生命 会是很短站。。。
你认为值得吗？？

有这个念头的人，当然觉得 值得。。。
因为你们没勇气 或 没办法 在面对 在你面前发生 的 一切一切。。。
当你们 决定是 清退后 望一望 想一想。。。
你也许今世可以不面对 。。。。可是你的来世将还是要面对。。。
逃也逃不了。。。下次你会面对的跟多一倍。。。。
难道你又要选择 自尽吗？？

其实为什么我们身边要有其他人的存在？？
那是因为当我们有问题是我们都 要互相帮忙。。。
互相鼓励。。。。
也许你觉得今天你做 的很傻。。。
可是外面还有个笨蛋。。。。。。。。。。

我们只要打开心胸。。。停一停 听一听 看一看。。。
用心去感受。。。。你会觉得自己好过好多好多人。。。
然后你会有那一股冲动 去帮助其他人。。。。
我们大家都该学习 笑一笑。。。
一个笑容往往 会让人觉得安慰，安全 还有 温馨
对其他人 微一微笑 吧 ！！

当别人给你手 是你记得要握紧。。。
不要放开。。。。

每个人都来自 不一样的家庭背景。。。
每一个人都有他们的过去。。。。
不是 他们没有失落的时候。。。
只是他们看得开看得透。。。。
勇敢和积极去面对和克服。。。。。
不要说你不行 有恒心 的话 前面还是会有路走。。。。

“别人笑我太疯癫， 我笑他人看不穿。。。”

就算别人笑你，当你走出条路来。。。。
别人眼光算什么 ！！！！

因为大家都 很在意 别人眼光。。。
我们才会把我们绑的紧紧。


路是要自己一步一步走出来。。。
人生就像忙碌的马路 和 海一样。。。
一时风平浪静。。一是就海浪一波又一波。。。
这才是我们存在的意义。。。

没有感情没有烦恼 就不是人累了。。。。

愿大家 要好好照顾自己。。。

summary of the week

Now here should be the sumary of the week

Monday was a boring day hahaha… what to do I live in a bored world…
So nothing special happen… but mummy visited granpa’s grave and aunties came to my house …
Conclusion I cant study because it was too noisy….
I feel that there are many distractions for me in my house ….
Especially noise….i hope I can move out soon to a hostel so that I really ..
Can focus on my study …haiz~~~~


Tuesday hahha what I can said ….
I was quite blurred that day itsellf….
And my bff told me something which I was quite stunned …
And I was feeling complicated too because …
Facebooking at last brought me some little problem…
Is not problem of addiction but other ….wth
But Tuesday was nice because at last I went and watch the movie I wanted to watch…
I hope to watch in 3D ,but unfortunately I was unlucky that if I watch 3D I will be home really late……….. hence I forgo 3D and go for 2D…{ How To Train A Dragon}
Anyway the movie was SUPERB NICE or AWESOME …haha
I love that movie……..everything is smooth that day ^^


Wednesday I hate it because I will be late for the train….
And plus we were fool by the moral lecturer …damn him..
Its like wasting our time waiting and waiting…
I really feel to complain…. No notice or announcement made by management …
NONE!!!!
TAK BOLEH TAHAN !!!!!!
If he is late next time or he come in at 12 I will leave the class in front of him ………..
And this are the days where train will be really packed…..
Me and meiYen ent and took a train to Putra again and back to Sentral
We were running like mad girls … hahhaa
We each get a seat …. Reaching sentral ….the most crowded station of all …
Wth its so packed and the train has no air cond … its so warm …
People taking paper fans to fan themselves….
Luckily I get the benefit too…
But that was very little …. I feel the suffocation due to the lack of oxygen…
It was really hot and warm like no air flowing…………
And I sweat and sweat for an hour plus till I reach my station and STILL I am sweating !!!
Wth…
That day was not my day seriously, I was damn pissed …..
I come back and I have to wait for my father for so long doing nothing ……
So uncomfortable and sticky….
Everyday wait and wait…. That’s what I hate ….
Wasting my time………..
Then I was onlining at night and came another ghostly called …..
That person was speaking in a deep soft voice like a ghost and sound suspicious….
Long story of that ……….. handphones number ……….
I always get problems with handphone ..especially numbers…


Thursday was contract, as usual its Mr.Kumar….
Its fun that day as there are people singing Indian version “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”..
And many people singing …woots it was nice …………
Time to go home …
Same thing that damn train is packed … and lack of oxygen …
Luckily I didn’t faint…. Next time I should bring an oxygen tank….
So that I get enough oxygen ….
Its not nice to be in the train packed cuz I feel that I am not feeling well when I reach home…And I sleep early …


Friday .its true that I am not feeling well and I have ticklish throat and a deep voice … SORE THROAT !! and now runny nose….as well as fever ….
I reach college really early today but no one is in college…
I cant called anyone because I left my hp at home …. SAD : (
However its good haha ..i went in the library studying and do economics ….
But I cant really concentrate because I am having a headache : (
Then I went 3rd floor and I was so GLAD to see Kim !!!
Hahahaha angel for that sudden …
I get Elaine’s number and called her ….then I realise she not coming early …
Hahahha………..
I stay at 3rd floor then and saw Mei Quin …..
And Jake ……….. I have no mood for lunch as well as appetite …
So just have tosei lo……….
But its curry ………haiz~~~~~~
Then came Marcus Tan..and the others ……………..
Getting more and more merrier hahha….
Econs was fun today hahaha…..
I stayback at college with few and were chit- chatting with them ..
Then study …and ask Aria about econs …
As usual he has sensitiveness to food ( public good)..hahha
Chocolates ……..then me and meiyen went home at about 7.30 pm
Now another drama coming… went we enter the lift …
A white man were scolding a man …
Then in train …………….. I sat beside a pshycho…………………….
OMG …….. I was so afraid …. Sososo afraid ………
But Phew……… luckily he went down a few station later ………….. god bless ^^

Freedom and love

i am not used to be given freedom since i was small ...

it was like all arrange for me to do this...

the road is there just for me to walk further....

kids like me should be happy ....

but have you ever imagine that its like someone is pulling your nose when you walk ??

i have dreams , so do wishes ....

i think i was the Sera asking my mum what will i be when grown up...

but life is always uncertain and unpredictable....

as i get older i felt that there is no turning back....

my dreams wont come true as it has never given a chance at all.....

when i see other children having what i wish to have ....

i felt sad.... but sometimes what i have  they dont...

Sera has never get a chance to hang out with her friends ....

the worst part is when her friends holds a birthday party ............

she soon felt that she will soon fell far apart with the others .......

and it was true ....

Sera is not allowed to owned a wing ....

as her mum says it was dangerous to fly.....

but when come to a critical day where her mum ask her to fly....

she dont know the way to fly..............

it was more dangerous then ...........

later on Sera learn to fly on her own secretly

without of her mum's knowledge.........

she fly along the boundary but never cross it...

as she thinks ...

but what does her mon's think ??

----------------------------------------------------

today mom and my aunties just visited  grandpa's tomb ...

i miss Grandpa so much as he was a really loving person..

he had already pass away about 5 years ...but i was like yesterday...

he was the only grandpa i have seen because my paternal grandpa pass away in his early age of 30's

and i never get to see him so does my dad have any memory of him....

i precious this granpa  as he was a good husband, father and grandfather ............

he is one of the role model in the family that everyone adores.....

he like people to get education... and give whatever he could to the people around him...

if you ever ask people in the village who never knows him....

i never get a chance to take photo with him because i think i was too young and never have the feeling of losing my beloved ones..................

i remember the night when he passed away .... i get a urgent called from my cousin Jen .......

we all saw him and we called the Docs to check him up.....

and the doctor declared that he has passed away... everyone break into tears....

as we all cant affort to lose him ..

but we gotta move on .... he hopes us to move on too ...

he actually pass away in peace without any illness or pains..

Lots of people came to his funeral .. including oversea relatives ..........

all things move smoothly .............

remember me and Jen was talking about him after funeral...

We miss him alot  ....

grandpa you will always be in our heart.....

uh huh ... sorry for the late post ...

due to some technical problem ....

after almost a week without my computer and internet ....

i actually felt uncomfortable and ticklish here and there ....

this shows how much "online socialising " affected my life ....

lol ...... its like a drug and i am addicted to it .....

nevermind i will try to get rid of this habit ....

after all on lining is not a big deal ...

because i realise that i wont do anything after the line is connected ....

only chat with my friends and read little little notes  .... ; )

hahhahaha ..........

now there are good news all around as my BFF Elaine  is in a relationship already...

and its Mr. Pumpkin Banana ( kean hoe)...hahhaha

that day when i was in lift i heard people said that they are cute couple ....

but anyway hahahaha they are SWEET !!!

standing between them makes me feel way younger hahaha....

i feel like i am their daughter ....muahahaa

speaking about resisting such problem ...

now its not a problem anymore ......

i am happy for both of them ..

REALLY HAPPY.....

hahhaaha............

then comes to Jo Ann birthday ....hahhaha ..

it was actually see wei, kim and michelle's plan i guess

anyway if u saw what see wei did ...

the small booklet  i mean ...

it was so nice and sweet and warm ....

her art work was so nice and not just only buttons she collect ...

hahhaha...

i ask her for one on valentine next year ...hahahha (kinda silly )

but i would like to apologise to Jo Ann because i left early that day..

as i am not feeling well and in a rush.....

sorry girl ** hUg***

remember thursday was mmy first time to sit in kim's car hahaha...

we actually planed to buy cake then we end in borders ....

looking at books..........

it was a nice ride kim !!!! : )

this was thursday .....

now wednesday ....

hahaha ...i remember how they the cute and adorable couple confessed in front of us....

muahaha.... and junior came with an i dea of Questionnaire.............

it was fun .. and i found out that it was pretty hard to speak to ...

law students and Aria's economic students ...hahaha

as they relate the principle to almost everything hahaha

by the way i took lots of sugar on wednesday too........

maybe i was craving for my ice cream but i cant get the opportunity to buy it ...................

i ate ~~~

1. one and a half bar of chocolates

2. chocolates again

3. mcd ice cream ....

its still alot .................

its raining lately and i have to get caught in the rain ...

and i get sick the other day ..........

Tuesday .......

no one is in college as everyone was busy ...

some went for shopping

some went for movies

some went home

and what a coincidence

i am able to go home early that day

but is fetch by a person that i dont really want to face .......

all the journey back home i remain silence and he remain busy ........

great ...........

unless i will be reluctant to answer his questions.......

i dislike this feelings ...........

anyway its mum's order cant help myself ... or else i will reach home really late.....

i felt really tired this entire week....

have no idea...Hiaz...