Its already saturday and my day actually doesn't start well ...
and i have to wake up early in the saturday morning for tort....
The first thing i woke up was i feel i am sleepy and miss my bed alot ....
This is my first time ....haiz
i was awake till morning to wait for an e-mail that never reach me that night...
but i couldn't stand after 3 in the morning and decided to sleep...
and i sleep for two hour plus and wake up to get ready........
the train was cold this morning ...
luckily i brought a scarf ....
the train was slow .... and i reach college a little late ...
and get a bottle of apple juice and aloe vera  as well as an egg sandwich for breakfast......
and a random old man talked to me.....

then as usual i met elaine at 3rd floor...
nothing special just some lame joke between us and also crap la.....

then came to celebrating Thomas's birthday........
we went to wong kok at one utama ....
everyone gathered there as well as Winnie leh.....
it has been so long i didn't see her...kinda happy ^^
i took Junior's car to one utama....
and the jam was bad ....
anyway its okay la...haha
he is a nice and cute person to speak to too =)

we did some random stuff at the restaurant...
as usual la take video and photograph....
but this is more special as some of them came back and appear on screen again !!!!
hahhaha........

all things went smooth ...
the sky Love me so much and rain after i get the train and stop when i reach the station near my house...
i didnt sleep in trin the whole journey as there are things playing in my mind ,,,,,
i couldn't figure out but i am afraid ~ ~ ~ ~ unreasonably

today was really a drama day i should call .....
some of the things i cant mention here ........ so sorry

i am sad and restless and excited as well..........
anyway i hope to get a solution to this question....
and now i am like ordering "teh limau ice tak nak ice "
haiz.................

Haiz~~~

What happen to me ?

I felt I want all dessert put right infront of me ….
With nice decorations and designs on it………….

I want Tiramisu, I want Banana Split, Cheese cake, Green Tea red bean cake, Mango pudding, Strawberry Pudding, Green Tea ice cream, smooth ice, Ice cream Spaghetti, Australian Apple struddle, Tong Shui, Fruit tart, and many many more………..


Feeling desperate and terribly distress right now…
I don’t know whats happening with me ………
Apparently my heart beat is a bit faster than usual ……….
My thought is more messed up….
and many things are running in my mind...
If  I speak weirdly do forgive me ..........
And I actually sighed “ Haiz~~~” for more than 30 times a day…
And today is the worst of all…………….haiz……….
And I wonder how we or maybe just Elaine perhaps create a joke out of that ……….
Yayaya Lame I know…………XD hahhaa
She is so random ….. when we were studying she suddenly stopped and stare at me …….
Then she said about that sigh-ing thing“haiz” …then randomly she sang ………..
I ask her not todo that because it took me quite long to stop and focus reading….
When she finish her singing ………..not realising I sighed “ HAIIIZZZ~~~~~ “ AGAIN !!!!!
She was laughing like mad and non-stop that’s what I could say ………..
Then I realise I SIGH again =(
I laugh along too because it was kinda funny XD
Then we talk about some random stuff with Kim, See Wei and Jake..
Then came to Tort’s break…..
You will never know how lame when we speak to Kin Sin ….
Really funny I can laugh like mad …..
Reason he is as lame as us lo …the (Three-Eight Girls) hahahha….
And not forget to disturb Jessica too ….
She is really cute ………… TUNG TUNG if you read this …hahaha
Just chill la don’t be excited ^^
I still think you are secretly in love with ME lol …. : P
Hahahaha…………………..
Although I am emo but things are still happening around me …
Which is great …………..such as my friends XD
but haiz ……… I am so innocent!!!
And nearly get blamed by a irresponsible person ………..
WTH ……………if I get scolded I am sure …he will see my Justice Bao’s face…
But since I didn’t……….wonder what kind off people is that….
Haiz ~~ forget about it then … never gonna approach this type of people again …..
Complicated people…… I have more things to deal with…..
Tomorrow will be a better day =)

reflections

Another crapping and emo post I would say……….

Life should not be that bored for me but its useless when I feel I am boring myself ….
Speaking on what I had went through its like hell ……..
I can’t speak it out loud and I can’t avoid ….
All I can is to face it and take it……
Was it the world is too complicated ?

OR

Was it I am too naïve to think the world is simple?
I never get the answer myself…NEVER !!!!
There is nothing I can do other than to wait …
And wait AND WAIT !!!
But do you know my “CENTRAL BANK of PATIENCE” will soon bankrupt???


World and life is like a jigsaw puzzle….
You gotta keep every single piece of it to get a picture….
Then people claimed that a picture has a thousands of word….
Yea indeed so were human being and the scenario we have seen ……….


There will be daylight and there will be darkness…
Which would you like ??
I always claimed I like cloudiness and wind …
Simplicity is always what I preferred…..

当你朋友来告诉。她/他要跟世界告别。。。

当你朋友来告诉。她/他要跟世界告别。。。

你们有试过，你们的朋友来对你说 他想放弃人生和世界地球说拜拜吗？
你们会有什么感想呢？？
你们会安慰她， 鼓励，辅导，痛骂 还是就让他去死 认为他是开玩笑的？？
当他们这一类的人 来跟你哭诉时 你会对他们有什么想法？？？

我内心觉得很寒冷。。。
因为在我人生短短19年已有几位朋友对我说他们要放弃自己。。。
当我第一次听到时候。。。我不知道 如何面对这一类的人。。。
因为往往选择这一条路的人他们一觉得他们无路可走了。。。。
我如果知道 我这一些朋友 真的 自杀。。。我会很愧疚。。。
很伤心。。。我会很不舍得他们。。。。。为他们而掉眼泪

你们不要以为 要自杀 的人 会闷闷不乐让你看到。。。。
他自己的真面目。。。。
反而， 他会把自己的心情收藏起来。。。

其实他们内心里 不好过。。。
在他们心里 有千千万万打不开的结。。。
他们的心情是非一般人不会了解的痛苦。。。。

他们也会把他们的事情看得最严重。。。
其实有时候并没那么严重。。。
只是他们打不开新里面的结。。。。

这一些体会是无法用言语和字体来形容的。。。
自杀只是一刹那的勇气·。。。
因为有些人怕死。。。所以他们都会 放弃这一个念头。。。
怕死未必是一件坏事啊！！！

幸好，到如今那些跟我说要自杀的朋友们还在。。。
活得好好，一根头发也没少。。。。
反而变美了 也胖了 一些。。。。

其实我们要对人生有期待。。。
期待是我们对我们自己的一种 期望 盼望。。。
我们不应该那么自私。。。。
你们要知道。。。要成为人是需要千百年的轮回。。。
要舍弃 自己 生命 会是很短站。。。
你认为值得吗？？

有这个念头的人，当然觉得 值得。。。
因为你们没勇气 或 没办法 在面对 在你面前发生 的 一切一切。。。
当你们 决定是 清退后 望一望 想一想。。。
你也许今世可以不面对 。。。。可是你的来世将还是要面对。。。
逃也逃不了。。。下次你会面对的跟多一倍。。。。
难道你又要选择 自尽吗？？

其实为什么我们身边要有其他人的存在？？
那是因为当我们有问题是我们都 要互相帮忙。。。
互相鼓励。。。。
也许你觉得今天你做 的很傻。。。
可是外面还有个笨蛋。。。。。。。。。。

我们只要打开心胸。。。停一停 听一听 看一看。。。
用心去感受。。。。你会觉得自己好过好多好多人。。。
然后你会有那一股冲动 去帮助其他人。。。。
我们大家都该学习 笑一笑。。。
一个笑容往往 会让人觉得安慰，安全 还有 温馨
对其他人 微一微笑 吧 ！！

当别人给你手 是你记得要握紧。。。
不要放开。。。。

每个人都来自 不一样的家庭背景。。。
每一个人都有他们的过去。。。。
不是 他们没有失落的时候。。。
只是他们看得开看得透。。。。
勇敢和积极去面对和克服。。。。。
不要说你不行 有恒心 的话 前面还是会有路走。。。。

“别人笑我太疯癫， 我笑他人看不穿。。。”

就算别人笑你，当你走出条路来。。。。
别人眼光算什么 ！！！！

因为大家都 很在意 别人眼光。。。
我们才会把我们绑的紧紧。


路是要自己一步一步走出来。。。
人生就像忙碌的马路 和 海一样。。。
一时风平浪静。。一是就海浪一波又一波。。。
这才是我们存在的意义。。。

没有感情没有烦恼 就不是人累了。。。。

愿大家 要好好照顾自己。。。

summary of the week

Now here should be the sumary of the week

Monday was a boring day hahaha… what to do I live in a bored world…
So nothing special happen… but mummy visited granpa’s grave and aunties came to my house …
Conclusion I cant study because it was too noisy….
I feel that there are many distractions for me in my house ….
Especially noise….i hope I can move out soon to a hostel so that I really ..
Can focus on my study …haiz~~~~


Tuesday hahha what I can said ….
I was quite blurred that day itsellf….
And my bff told me something which I was quite stunned …
And I was feeling complicated too because …
Facebooking at last brought me some little problem…
Is not problem of addiction but other ….wth
But Tuesday was nice because at last I went and watch the movie I wanted to watch…
I hope to watch in 3D ,but unfortunately I was unlucky that if I watch 3D I will be home really late……….. hence I forgo 3D and go for 2D…{ How To Train A Dragon}
Anyway the movie was SUPERB NICE or AWESOME …haha
I love that movie……..everything is smooth that day ^^


Wednesday I hate it because I will be late for the train….
And plus we were fool by the moral lecturer …damn him..
Its like wasting our time waiting and waiting…
I really feel to complain…. No notice or announcement made by management …
NONE!!!!
TAK BOLEH TAHAN !!!!!!
If he is late next time or he come in at 12 I will leave the class in front of him ………..
And this are the days where train will be really packed…..
Me and meiYen ent and took a train to Putra again and back to Sentral
We were running like mad girls … hahhaa
We each get a seat …. Reaching sentral ….the most crowded station of all …
Wth its so packed and the train has no air cond … its so warm …
People taking paper fans to fan themselves….
Luckily I get the benefit too…
But that was very little …. I feel the suffocation due to the lack of oxygen…
It was really hot and warm like no air flowing…………
And I sweat and sweat for an hour plus till I reach my station and STILL I am sweating !!!
Wth…
That day was not my day seriously, I was damn pissed …..
I come back and I have to wait for my father for so long doing nothing ……
So uncomfortable and sticky….
Everyday wait and wait…. That’s what I hate ….
Wasting my time………..
Then I was onlining at night and came another ghostly called …..
That person was speaking in a deep soft voice like a ghost and sound suspicious….
Long story of that ……….. handphones number ……….
I always get problems with handphone ..especially numbers…


Thursday was contract, as usual its Mr.Kumar….
Its fun that day as there are people singing Indian version “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”..
And many people singing …woots it was nice …………
Time to go home …
Same thing that damn train is packed … and lack of oxygen …
Luckily I didn’t faint…. Next time I should bring an oxygen tank….
So that I get enough oxygen ….
Its not nice to be in the train packed cuz I feel that I am not feeling well when I reach home…And I sleep early …


Friday .its true that I am not feeling well and I have ticklish throat and a deep voice … SORE THROAT !! and now runny nose….as well as fever ….
I reach college really early today but no one is in college…
I cant called anyone because I left my hp at home …. SAD : (
However its good haha ..i went in the library studying and do economics ….
But I cant really concentrate because I am having a headache : (
Then I went 3rd floor and I was so GLAD to see Kim !!!
Hahahaha angel for that sudden …
I get Elaine’s number and called her ….then I realise she not coming early …
Hahahha………..
I stay at 3rd floor then and saw Mei Quin …..
And Jake ……….. I have no mood for lunch as well as appetite …
So just have tosei lo……….
But its curry ………haiz~~~~~~
Then came Marcus Tan..and the others ……………..
Getting more and more merrier hahha….
Econs was fun today hahaha…..
I stayback at college with few and were chit- chatting with them ..
Then study …and ask Aria about econs …
As usual he has sensitiveness to food ( public good)..hahha
Chocolates ……..then me and meiyen went home at about 7.30 pm
Now another drama coming… went we enter the lift …
A white man were scolding a man …
Then in train …………….. I sat beside a pshycho…………………….
OMG …….. I was so afraid …. Sososo afraid ………
But Phew……… luckily he went down a few station later ………….. god bless ^^

Freedom and love

i am not used to be given freedom since i was small ...

it was like all arrange for me to do this...

the road is there just for me to walk further....

kids like me should be happy ....

but have you ever imagine that its like someone is pulling your nose when you walk ??

i have dreams , so do wishes ....

i think i was the Sera asking my mum what will i be when grown up...

but life is always uncertain and unpredictable....

as i get older i felt that there is no turning back....

my dreams wont come true as it has never given a chance at all.....

when i see other children having what i wish to have ....

i felt sad.... but sometimes what i have  they dont...

Sera has never get a chance to hang out with her friends ....

the worst part is when her friends holds a birthday party ............

she soon felt that she will soon fell far apart with the others .......

and it was true ....

Sera is not allowed to owned a wing ....

as her mum says it was dangerous to fly.....

but when come to a critical day where her mum ask her to fly....

she dont know the way to fly..............

it was more dangerous then ...........

later on Sera learn to fly on her own secretly

without of her mum's knowledge.........

she fly along the boundary but never cross it...

as she thinks ...

but what does her mon's think ??

----------------------------------------------------

today mom and my aunties just visited  grandpa's tomb ...

i miss Grandpa so much as he was a really loving person..

he had already pass away about 5 years ...but i was like yesterday...

he was the only grandpa i have seen because my paternal grandpa pass away in his early age of 30's

and i never get to see him so does my dad have any memory of him....

i precious this granpa  as he was a good husband, father and grandfather ............

he is one of the role model in the family that everyone adores.....

he like people to get education... and give whatever he could to the people around him...

if you ever ask people in the village who never knows him....

i never get a chance to take photo with him because i think i was too young and never have the feeling of losing my beloved ones..................

i remember the night when he passed away .... i get a urgent called from my cousin Jen .......

we all saw him and we called the Docs to check him up.....

and the doctor declared that he has passed away... everyone break into tears....

as we all cant affort to lose him ..

but we gotta move on .... he hopes us to move on too ...

he actually pass away in peace without any illness or pains..

Lots of people came to his funeral .. including oversea relatives ..........

all things move smoothly .............

remember me and Jen was talking about him after funeral...

We miss him alot  ....

grandpa you will always be in our heart.....

uh huh ... sorry for the late post ...

due to some technical problem ....

after almost a week without my computer and internet ....

i actually felt uncomfortable and ticklish here and there ....

this shows how much "online socialising " affected my life ....

lol ...... its like a drug and i am addicted to it .....

nevermind i will try to get rid of this habit ....

after all on lining is not a big deal ...

because i realise that i wont do anything after the line is connected ....

only chat with my friends and read little little notes  .... ; )

hahhahaha ..........

now there are good news all around as my BFF Elaine  is in a relationship already...

and its Mr. Pumpkin Banana ( kean hoe)...hahhaha

that day when i was in lift i heard people said that they are cute couple ....

but anyway hahahaha they are SWEET !!!

standing between them makes me feel way younger hahaha....

i feel like i am their daughter ....muahahaa

speaking about resisting such problem ...

now its not a problem anymore ......

i am happy for both of them ..

REALLY HAPPY.....

hahhaaha............

then comes to Jo Ann birthday ....hahhaha ..

it was actually see wei, kim and michelle's plan i guess

anyway if u saw what see wei did ...

the small booklet  i mean ...

it was so nice and sweet and warm ....

her art work was so nice and not just only buttons she collect ...

hahhaha...

i ask her for one on valentine next year ...hahahha (kinda silly )

but i would like to apologise to Jo Ann because i left early that day..

as i am not feeling well and in a rush.....

sorry girl ** hUg***

remember thursday was mmy first time to sit in kim's car hahaha...

we actually planed to buy cake then we end in borders ....

looking at books..........

it was a nice ride kim !!!! : )

this was thursday .....

now wednesday ....

hahaha ...i remember how they the cute and adorable couple confessed in front of us....

muahaha.... and junior came with an i dea of Questionnaire.............

it was fun .. and i found out that it was pretty hard to speak to ...

law students and Aria's economic students ...hahaha

as they relate the principle to almost everything hahaha

by the way i took lots of sugar on wednesday too........

maybe i was craving for my ice cream but i cant get the opportunity to buy it ...................

i ate ~~~

1. one and a half bar of chocolates

2. chocolates again

3. mcd ice cream ....

its still alot .................

its raining lately and i have to get caught in the rain ...

and i get sick the other day ..........

Tuesday .......

no one is in college as everyone was busy ...

some went for shopping

some went for movies

some went home

and what a coincidence

i am able to go home early that day

but is fetch by a person that i dont really want to face .......

all the journey back home i remain silence and he remain busy ........

great ...........

unless i will be reluctant to answer his questions.......

i dislike this feelings ...........

anyway its mum's order cant help myself ... or else i will reach home really late.....

i felt really tired this entire week....

have no idea...Hiaz...